Few spouses comport themselves with grace in the face of betrayal, yet the insinuation or diagnosis of borderline disorder is all too readily affixed. And by brandishing the borderline label, the clinical community serves to reactivate the emotional wounding and reinjure the person already reeling from betrayal and violation.
One’s ability to handle a traumatic experience(s) is not formulaic. Further, no two individuals will respond nor manage the distress in quite the same way. For some, violent acts [such as this], will elicit a healthy call-to-action in the service of political or social change. For others these events might induce an emotional decompensation rendering them emotionally unable to function as before.
As much as we would like to think we’ve arrived at therapeutic transcendence, returning to our family of origin during the holidays often challenges our ability to maintain self care and hold personal boundaries.
More important than a relationship with others, by deluding ourselves by our own blind hopes and/or desires we risk loosing the relationship that we have with our own selves and put our recovery at potential risk.
In how many ways do we express anger and in how many more ways do we deny that we feel anger at all? Anger is binged; it is purged, eroticized, drunken, and driven, smiled away, snorted, smoked, stolen, and gambled