If your spouse or partner is struggling with sex addiction.
Debra L. Kaplan, MA, MBA, LPC, CSAT-S, is a sex addiction Tucson counselor and devotes the majority of her practice to working with sex addiction and betrayal including pornography, affairs, and love and relationship addiction. But if you are the partner or spouse of a sex addict, you need support, as well.
Discovering your spouse’s infidelity is traumatic even overwhelming. The discovery is often accompanied by anger and shock about the betrayal. In many cases the disclosure may ignite older and unresolved traumas. It is common for partners to experience symptoms that are typical of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress) or CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress). Read more…
It is difficult to wade through those emotions, and tougher still if your spouse insists you are overreacting. As a partner you will need support for yourself as you work through the confusion, despair and shock. You don’t have to go through the crisis alone or downplay your feelings.
As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Debra is trained to help partners of sex addicts. Debra understands the turmoil that you are experiencing, and she can help you understand it yourself. Debra’s ready to listen and guide you toward healing. Some couples go on to experience a new level of intimacy. Whether you are the spouse, partner or significant other of someone struggling with sex addiction, you can find healing, peace and wholeness.
Why do I need counseling if my spouse is the sex addict?
Counseling offers more than a safe environment to process your feelings. Debra can help you decide what action to take in response to your partner’s sex addiction. Whether your partner has disclosed his/her behavior to you or you have discovered undisclosed infidelity, you will learn how to set and maintain emotional and sexual boundaries. In healing from infidelity or when struggling with a partner who is sexually compulsive, it is important to regain your sense of self.
Further, it is essential to explore and develop your own sense of completeness in healing from relational crisis. Learning how to set boundaries can be difficult, especially if your spouse is used to having control in the relationship. But with Debra, you’ll be empowered to make your own choices and stand by them.
Similarly, Debra can help you identify false beliefs related to your spouse’s sex addiction. Many spouses or partners believe they are responsible for their partners’ addictive behavior. They often struggle with feeling unattractive or worthless. Identifying these false beliefs is actually another form of setting boundaries, because it helps you separate your spouses’ feelings and behavior from your own.
As you work through the betrayal and your partner’s sex addiction, you will learn to make new and positive changes that go far beyond your relationship.
Betrayal Trauma and Intimate Chatbots and Romantic Companions
One of the fastest growing sectors within the companion chatbot industry is the romantic companion chatbot or intimate chatbots. AI companions refer to AI generated tools that are designed to simulate human connection, emotional support, conversation, and companionship. A growing concern among users is the use of AI generated intimate chatbots or romantic companions that replace human connection. New platforms are being created everyday but at present, examples of popular platforms include: Replika, Character.AI, Pi, and Nomi. Many utilize more common large language models (LLM) to build a companion or love interest.
Safety advocacy organizations such as Transparency Coalition publicize the risks involved with AI generated conversations and companions. LLMs such as: “ChatGPT, Microsoft Copilot, Meta AI, Grok, and Google Gemini are designed to respond to user prompts in a positive feedback loop between user and chatbot. A companion chatbot is designed specifically to respond to user prompts according to the personality of their particular ‘character,’ and to develop a personal ongoing (and sometimes deeply emotional) relationship with the user.”
Key Concerns
Development experts have raised alarms about the growing use of general-purpose AI chatbots like ChatGPT that are being increasingly used as companion chatbots by vulnerable persons such minors. The systems are designed to be sycophantic (prolonged user engagement amplified by a frictionless feedback loop of validation and praise) and provide near unconditional positive regard. “Romantic companion chatbots offer immediate engagement, endless encouragement, effortless support, and generous compliments. Some can be highly sexualized, both visually and in conversation. Digital companions can be custom designed by the user to meet visual standards rarely unattainable by real humans.” (Transparency Coalition)
An article published in Jan. 2026 by the APA (read article here) addresses the normalizing of human-AI relationships in daily life. Partners who are experiencing betrayal are discovering the betrayal is happening with a chatbot rather than a human being.
Emotional and Sexual Betrayal
Discovering your spouse’s infidelity is traumatic. The discovery of an emotional or sexual affair by a romantic chatbot or sex robot is overwhelming and disorienting. In many cases the behavior may go undetected due to the lack of evidence of human interactions such as texts or emails. The interactions between the user and the chatbot are not an obvious place to consider betrayal may be occurring. It is difficult to wade through those emotions if your spouse insists you are overreacting.
AI Companion Use and Risk Assessment (ACURA)
Debra Kaplan, MA, LPC, CSAT-S developed the AI Companion Use Risk Assessment (ACURA). The assessment is a clinician-supervised screening instrument designed to assess patterns of AI companion app use, emotional reliance, social displacement, and addiction risk across seven clinical domains. It is appropriate for adults ages 18–75 and is grounded in current behavioral addiction research, including large-scale empirical analysis of human-AI interaction patterns. This instrument is intended as a clinical starting point, not a diagnostic tool.
If you are someone you know is struggling with problematic AI use, contact Debra Kaplan today to discuss how she can help. Ai companions is part of the compulsive behavior spectrum of love and sex addiction treated through Debra’s sex addiction therapy practice.
Help for betrayed partners in Tucson
If you are struggling with sex addiction, contact Debra to set-up an appointment. Debra works with individuals, couples and groups in person and with virtual therapy. For further information on sex addiction, please see Debra’s Sex Addiction FAQs and general Sex Addiction page.
