For Spouses/Partners

If your spouse or partner is struggling with sex addiction, don’t neglect yourself.

Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LPC, LISAC, CMAT, CSAT-S, is a sex addiction Tucson counselor and devotes the majority of her practice to working with trauma and sex addiction including pornography, affairs, and love and relationship addiction. But if you are the partner or spouse of a sex addict, you need support, as well.

Discovering your spouse’s infidelity — whether for the 1st or 10th time — is traumatic, often accompanied by feelings of anger, grief, and betrayal. In many cases the disclosure may ignite older and unresolved traumas.  It is common for partners to experience symptoms that are typical of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress) or CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress). Read more…

It is difficult to wade through those emotions, and tougher still if your spouse insists you are overreacting. As a partner you will need support for yourself as you work through the confusion, despair and shock. You don’t have to go through the crisis alone or downplay your feelings.

As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Debra is trained to help partners of sex addicts. Debra understands the turmoil that you are experiencing, and she can help you understand it yourself. Debra’s ready to listen and guide you toward healing. Some couples go on to experience a new level of intimacy. Whether you are the spouse, partner or significant other of someone struggling with sex addiction, you can find healing, peace and wholeness.

Why do I need counseling if my spouse is the sex addict?

Counseling offers more than a safe environment to process your feelings. Debra can help you decide what action to take in response to your partner’s sex addiction. Whether your partner has disclosed his/her behavior to you or you have discovered undisclosed infidelity, you will learn how to set and maintain emotional and sexual boundaries. In healing from infidelity or when struggling with a partner who is sexually compulsive, it is important to regain your sense of self.

Further, it is essential to explore and develop your own sense of completeness in healing from relational crisis. Learning how to set boundaries can be difficult, especially if your spouse is used to having control in the relationship. But with Debra, you’ll be empowered to make your own choices and stand by them.

Similarly, Debra can help you identify false beliefs related to your spouse’s sex addiction. Many spouses or partners believe they are responsible for their partners’ addictive behavior. They often struggle with feeling unattractive or worthless. Identifying these false beliefs is actually another form of setting boundaries, because it helps you separate your spouses’ feelings and behavior from your own.

As you work through your feelings of betrayal and your partner’s sex addiction, you will learn to make new and positive changes that go far beyond your relationship.

Help for spouses of sex addicts in Tucson

If you live in or near Tucson, and your spouse is struggling with sex addiction, contact Debra to set-up an appointment. Debra works with individuals, couples and groups.  For further information on sex addiction, please see Debra’s Sex Addiction FAQs and general Sex Addiction page.

Recommended 12-Step resources for sex and love addiction: