Debra Kaplan is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and CSAT-Supervisor and provides expert in person and virtual sex addiction therapy.
Sex addiction often has its roots in unresolved early childhood trauma and must be taken seriously. Left untreated sexual trauma, complex-post traumatic stress, emotional incest and abuse can lead to an escalation of sexual behaviors which results in injury to self and loss of relationships. Similar to other addictions, sex addiction is defined by loss of control over sexual behavior, a compulsion to act out and a need to escalate the sexual behavior in order to achieve the same results.
If you are searching for information about sex addiction, either you or someone you know might be struggling with the question, “Am I a Sex Addict?” or “What is Sex Addiction?” As with compulsive or addictive behavior, an addiction is fed by an underlying sense of shame. This is referred to as a shame core. Negative self-talk such as: “If they only knew what I was doing.” or, “If they only knew who I really am, I would be rejected” are negative core beliefs rooted in unresolved trauma. Therapy heals the wounds that underlie the negative self-talk.
Certain behaviors indicate the presence of a sexual addiction. According to Sex Addicts Anonymous, a fellowship based on the basic principles of recovery found in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, there are several indications to look for when deciding to seek help:
- Powerlessness over addictive sexual behavior.
- Unmanageability of his/her life.
- Feelings of shame, pain and self-loathing.
- Failed promises and attempts to stop acting out.
- Preoccupation with sex leading to ritual.
- Progressive worsening of negative consequences.
Am I a Sex Addict? (Assessment for Men) (Assessment for Women)
What is Sex and Love Addiction?
Sex and love addiction refers to an addictive compulsion to engage in (or avoid) sex, love, or emotional attachment. As with sex addiction, love addiction also has its roots in unresolved early childhood trauma. Healthy romantic relationships grow out of a healthy friendship, but addictive relationships are based on fear of abandonment and rejection by romantic partner. This fear of rejection or abandonment sets up a destructive pattern of relating. People involved in addictive sexual and romantic relationships use sex and love as a way to manipulate others in order to avoid the loss of the person or the relationship. This results in a compulsive “dance” between the love avoidant and the love addict. Read the twelve characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction
Emotional and Sexual Betrayal
Discovering your spouse’s infidelity is traumatic. The discovery of an emotional or sexual affair by a romantic chatbot or sex robot is overwhelming and disorienting. In many cases the behavior may go undetected due to the lack of evidence of human interactions such as texts or emails. The interactions between the user and the chatbot are not an obvious place to consider betrayal may be occurring. It is difficult to wade through those emotions if your spouse insists you are overreacting.
AI Companion Use and Risk Assessment (ACURA)
Click here to take the ACURA
The AI Companion Use Risk Assessment (ACURA) was created by Debra Kaplan, MA, LPC, CSAT-S and the use of AI. The assessment is a clinician-supervised screening instrument designed to assess patterns of AI companion app use, emotional reliance, social displacement, and addiction risk across seven clinical domains. It is appropriate for adults ages 18 and up. The ACURA is grounded in current behavioral addiction research, including large-scale empirical analysis of human-AI interaction patterns. * This instrument is intended as a clinical starting point, not a diagnostic tool.
If you are someone you know is struggling with problematic AI use, contact Debra to discuss how she can help. AI companions and intimacy chatbots can be aspects of compulsive behaviors such as love and sex addiction.
Debra addresses the following Issues with Individuals, Couples and Groups
- Sex Addiction/Compulsivity
- Love and Relationship Addiction
- Addiction to Internet Pornography
- Affairs and Infidelity
- Emotional Incest/Sexual Abuse
Frequent Questions and Concerns:
- What is sex addiction and sexual compulsivity?
- What is compulsive masturbation?
- Should I be concerned if I “must” masturbate?
- What if I have a high sex drive? Is this a problem?
- My significant other/spouse told me I sexualize wo/men. What does this mean?
- I found my significant other/spouse looking at internet pornography. What do I do?
- I confide in a close fe/male friend but I’m in a committed relationship. Is this a problem?
- My spouse is cheating on me. Why should I get help when I am not the one with the problem?
- I have stronger sexual needs than my spouse so I satisfy my needs outside of my relationship.
- Despite my love for my partner, I continue to use online chat rooms for conversation and hook-ups.
