If financial domination — known as FinDom — has become compulsive, unmanageable, or is creating harm in your finances, relationships, or sense of self, you are not alone, and effective treatment is available. Whether your spending has escalated beyond what you intended, you are caught in an exploitative arrangement you cannot exit, you are a partner trying to understand what is happening, or a professional seeking consultation on this emerging dynamic — this page is for you.
I am a licensed clinician, author, and lecturer specializing in the complex intersection of sex, money, and power. In 2013, following publication of “For Love and Money: Exploring Financial Betrayal in Relationships,” clients and fellow clinicians began bringing FinDom into the consulting room and what I encountered was more nuanced than the headlines. For some, financial domination is a consensual, boundaried adult practice. For others, what began as erotic interest has escalated into compulsivity that is damaging their financial stability, primary relationships, or emotional wellbeing.
Is FinDom affecting your financial stability, your relationship, or your ability to stop? Call or email today to schedule a confidential consultation. Telehealth sessions are available across Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Minnesota, Ohio, and Utah. I also provide consultation to clinicians and financial professionals navigating this topic with their own clients.
What Financial Domination Isn’t
FinDom has garnered widespread attention for due to an increased prevalence and fascination about this eroticized power exchange. Covid amplified an immediate need for physical distance but Financial Domination had a hold on virtual closeness before the world knew it needed social distancing.
Advances in technology and the emergence of AI generated content enhanced sexual connection and closeness via a virtual world. Over the past decade television and social media fueled a fascination (perhaps, intrigue about) this financial fetish.
For all that Financial Domination is, FinDom is not considered a coerced exploitation of a male submissive by a dominant. That being said, with the rise of Findom has come a rise in the incidence of online scams perpetrated by “instadommes” of individuals who seek attention and erotic exchange. Those who identify as having a sexual compulsion or addiction may become inadvertently involved with FinDom and exploited by those who falsely portray themselves as a Financial Dominatrix. Rather than a consensual arrangement the unaware may find themselves exploited or extorted for money. By definition of Financial Domination, FinDommes are into the power exchange and the play rather than the get-rich-quick scheme, more in line with Only Fans or Sugar Baby/Daddy sites.
Getting Support When Support Is Needed
It may be difficult to understand how erotic pleasure is derived by being humiliated, and for which one gives up some or a lot of their monetary assets to a person whom they have likely never met in person. Money represents power, but Financial Domination is more than about money. The exchange involves power, submission, dominance, control, humiliation, and psychological pain and pleasure. The erotic release may hinge on money but the desires are complex and have different emotional and psychological underpinnings for everyone.
Expert therapy and consultation is available to understand this financial non-sexual fetish:
- Individuals who engage in this fetish despite their own discomfort with an escalation in their sexual fantasy and desire.
- Partners who discover large sums of money that are withdrawn from their savings or retirement.
- Professionals (clinical and financial) who wish to better understand, and address, this financial power dynamic in their practices.
* Page content edited with the use of AI.
