Coupleship Inc.

From Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy

A romantic relationship is one of the most important emotional—and financial—decisions we ever make. When partners commit, they merge their individual relationships with money to form a complex emotional and financial partnership which the authors call, Coupleship Inc.

Debra Kaplan and Rick Kahler combine their expertise in couples therapy and financial planning to provide insights, tools and practical steps for couples to successfully resolve money conflicts and create emotional and financial wellbeing.

Making sound money decisions is fundamental to financial and emotional well-being, for both individuals and couples. In a marriage or committed relationship, partners need to evaluate financial goals and eventually discuss the mundane money details of their romance. Yet most couples do not have the necessary fundamental conversations about money that will form the basis for a successful relationship. Helping couples negotiate their relationship with money, and inevitably with each other, takes courage because it requires patience, skill, self-awareness, and understanding.

This book will help couples:  

• Identify the unconscious beliefs driving financial decisions that seem illogical.
• Turn self-defeating beliefs and behaviors about money into healthier behaviors that build financial intimacy.
• Develop compassion for their internal “companies” of well-intentioned inner parts.
• Learn effective communication skills to turn money arguments into constructive conversations.

Reviews:

“Based on their combined vast expertise in the worlds of finance and therapy, Debra Kaplan and Rick Kahler have co-written the definitive book for couples with money problems. Money issues, and how they are addressed or ignored, are a major source of conflict and distance in couples, and Kaplan and Kahler offer a wide range of exercises and practices for finding the often-traumatic roots of the issues in each partner and for releasing the “scripts” that drive them.” – Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D., Creator of the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy and best-selling author of No Bad Parts

“Coupleship Inc. is a timely book with great information and productive tools to help couples understand one another better and achieve control over their finances in a way that is both insightful and empowering.” – Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D., CSAT-S, CST, CPTT, RAE, Clinical Sexologist; President, International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals

“…Coupleship Inc. effectively takes the reader from a big picture understanding of the hidden meaning of money in their lives to the specifics of how to make conscious changes, including the intricate choreography of a financial disclosure.” – Janice Caudill, Ph.D., CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CPPS-S, author of Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal and Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal 

“…This powerful book focuses on assisting the reader in making concrete, lasting changes. Replete with constructive transcripts to help identify feelings to combat old Money Scripts, Kaplan and Kahler artfully illustrate how to stay out of conflict and dead-end arguments. Instead, their combined expertise in the fields of finance and psychotherapy compassionately leverages their audience toward what they call “financial intimacy.” This book is a must read for every couple!” – Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., author of Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

“Coupleship Inc. is an incredible book for couples on the journey of doing money together. Exploring and thinking about how different parts of my wife and I are showing up in our financial differences creates new opportunities for connection and building the financial life we dream of.” – Ed Coambs, MBA, MA, MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, LMFT, Founder of Healthy Love and Money and president of The Financial Therapy Association

“…Coupleship Inc. shines a light on the money issues that so many of us struggle with, helping couples find common ground by empowering you to find more understanding for your own money stories and your partner’s point of view. If you want to learn how to have a loving and compassionate relationship with your spouse around money, I urge you to get a copy of Coupleship Inc. When couples learn how to do this together, they can move mountains.” – Bari Tessler, Financial Therapist and author of The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness

“If financial discussions with your significant other leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious, you’re not alone. Coupleship Inc., is a financial love letter to couples everywhere, offers practical advice that can help tame the love + money beast. This book is filled with valuable tools and information that can support our journey to understanding ourselves and each other.” – Saundra Davis, MSFP, MCC, APFC, Financial Coach and Educator

“This book offers a new, practical approach to helping couples heal from the biggest source of conflict that plagues them: money, finances, and their (and all of our) relationships to money.” – Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S, therapist and co-author of Letters from a Sex Addict: My Life Exposed and Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth after Sexual Betrayal

“Money is one of the biggest stressors facing couples, yet financial resources often ignore intimacy and psychological resources rarely include financial information. Coupleship Inc. provides both. This is a powerful and practical guide that I will definitely be recommending to clients.” – Britt Frank, LSCSW, SEP, author of The Science of Stuck 

“Very engaging, creative, and enjoyable! Just what you would want for a book that addresses why people are afraid to talk about money and how to do so with more ease. Debra and Rick have created an atmosphere of “all parts welcome” in this endeavor to bring Self-leadership to Coupleship Inc. as readers gain insights and avenues for moving forward in money matters. What an immensely helpful book for the general public and for financial therapists!” – Michelle Glass, CIFSP, author of Daily Parts Meditation Practice: A Journey of Embodied Integration for Clients and Therapists

“Struggling with finances is among the top stressors for couples entering therapy. Any committed partnership requires hard conversations about finances, and anyone reading this book will benefit from the wisdom offered here. A great read full of information, exercises, surveys, and suggestions on gaining greater clarity while on a journey toward “financial intimacy.”  – Toni Herbine-Blank, IFS Senior Trainer, co-author of Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy (Routledge) and Internal Family Systems Couple Therapy Skills Manual (PESI)

“This is a revolutionary book plus tool kit for people to thrive in marriages/ partnerships across the world. The authors, who are pioneers in the field of Financial therapy and Couples therapy, guide us through a step-by-step approach to help us thrive with Financial Intimacy. The rich storytelling format, tool kits, and resources help us reflect and work toward understanding our relationship with money better, as well as understanding our spouse/partner’s relationship with money, to move forward from Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy.” – Partha Iyengar, Co-founder, The Women Financial Advancement Network Personal Money Coach for Women

“Coupleship Inc. should be read by ALL financial planners and helping professionals, and also by ALL humans who have money and are in or hope to be in a successful and meaningful intimate relationship with another human being. The book is transformational for those who will walk through it with intention, ideally along with their partner and with support from a professional financial life planner, coach, or financial therapist as guide.” – Elizabeth Jetton, M.Ed., CFP®, retired financial life planner, educator, writer, and coach

“Coupleship Inc: From Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy is a groundbreaking piece of work for couples who find themselves confused about their financial and relational stalemates. The authors have broken down this complicated and at times extremely conflict-ridden relationship with money. They provide couples tools to understand how they developed their dysfunction with money, and offer practical ways of breaking through many of their conscious and unconscious beliefs about money that have contributed to maladaptive behaviors. I will be recommending it to all of my clients!” – Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW, CSAT, CCPS-S, CPC-S

“This book addresses a significant need in couples’ lives: to better understand our system of emotions and parts of our personality, where these relate to financial matters. This book opens that Pandora’s box up in a supportive and helpful way, so that money in and of couple’s experience together can be a positive journey.” – Dr. Helen E Lees, author of Playing the University Game – the art of university-based self education (Bloomsbury).

“As I was reading this book, I was thinking about how many of my clients would benefit from the wisdom that Rick and Debra share regarding how our history impacts our money stories. Then I realized how much I was benefitting from their wisdom.”  – Ross Levin, CFP®, Founder, Accredited Investors Wealth Management

“Coupleship Inc: From Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy is a wonderfully practical book for couples to stimulate their brain and get tough conversations started.” – Sonya Lutter, Ph.D., CFP®, LMFT

“As an educator, my favorite topic to teach is love and money. I am ecstatic that the leading experts in these fields have combined forces to create this book that tackles the important connection of Love and Money. It provides a beautifully intertwined description of evidenced-based research in an engaging and easy-to-read format.” – Megan McCoy, Ph.D., LMFT, AFC®, CFT-I™, Assistant Professor, Personal Financial Planning, Kansas State University

“Absolutely brilliant! This compelling and accessible book offers a practical blueprint for healing the financial challenges that sabotage many couples. Drawing from the compassionate principles of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, and years of experience in the financial world, Deb Kaplan and Rick Kahler guide the reader toward the creation of a meaningful financial life as well as a vibrant financial legacy. Coupleship Inc. is an absolute must-read!” – Jenna Riemersma, LPC, Speaker, therapist, consultant, and best-selling author of Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation through Internal Family Systems Therapy

“With psychological, biological, neurological, social, and cultural influences, our individual relationships with money are far more complicated than we realize. Kaplan and Kahler break down these complicated relationships into easy-to-understand concepts. They do an exceptional job at guiding couples to understand themselves and design a financial life that will provide a path to a happy and healthy Coupleship.” – Amy Mullen, President, Money Quotient, Inc.

“It is my pleasure to recommend Coupleship Inc. to anyone who is in the role of working with couples, families, or individuals personally faced with the challenges of money. Rick and Debra have done an impressive job of providing the reader with a balance between theory and application. The book is accessible and does an amazing job of introducing the wisdom of Dick Schwartz and Internal Family Systems.” – Courtney Pullen, Family Wealth Counselor, Chief Learning Officer (Matter Family Office)

“Coupleship Inc. is a book rich in expert financial guidance, up-to-date research, and illuminating self-assessment tools. Combining transformational multiplicity psychotherapy, this book is an accessible must-read for all those about to partner up or already struggling to navigate their financial outer and inner worlds.” – Emma E. Redfern, Psychotherapy professional and author of Transitioning to Internal Family Systems Therapy: A Companion for Therapists and Practitioners